Fidelity- Regina Spektor
Awful weekend , like really bad nothing turned out to come to what i planned it out to be .
got dressed up and primped to end up doing nothing, but i must admit . i had a really good talk
with my ride or die shanise today and thanks girly im loving you like OD right now. she really helped me feel so much more better.
its like the facade just never stop's ending . what people fail to realize , is that you dont get where
im coming from; you dont understand why i act that way or say the things that i do to you. I'ts not for the pleasure of hearing my own voice. The words i throw at you are ment to stick to you like glue.I'ts like im sending off a microscopic bomb that enters your brain and sits there ticking and rotting your mind from the inside out until it oozes out your ears.
I dont hold grudes well more so try not too, putting mistakes onto another from the past is
not ever fair or right , but its hard to keep such an optomistc mindset when the same exact shit
happens person after person, situation after situation. It's like a maze im stuck in, like a vortex that sucks me in . a black hole that has engulfed me that refuses to let me out.
then get upset when im bitter , the bitterness is my recovery stage . its what i do to get over and forget.
i hate the fact that you try to read me , i hate the fact that i actually loved you because you
are not the sweet person i fell for . exucses amount to shit and you amount to shit. My niave heart is what keeps the feelings for you locked in & some type of level for careing . you fucked up my freindship, fucked up my life, messed with my nerves, made me feel something i thought i couldnt. an amount of hurt i thought didnt excist. but with all that you brang me someone i care about and brung him to another person i hold really high up there . so it was ment to be. & the other person preached to hear there own voice because they were stuck so high up when in all actuality you fell so short babe. & lets not even begin to start with tall amounts of lies and games.
im just the freind girl as shanise put's it . im cute and pretty and have a personality but i guess not enough for him or her and the nigga behind you right ? it's just something mind boggling.
i derserve better than all this shit & i know i do , we all do.
had too much to talk about today, thats what brought about all these different feelings.
its crazy the world we live in.
fuck i have to wake up early for American Appearl open call.& going to queens to see the baby
Congrats to Shay-Shay she had a baby boy & Happy Birthday to Steve i od od od love you.
i have a headache :\
play girl why are you sleeping in tomorrow's world hey play girl *sings*
