today was a good day. long talk with the natt and it just brought back mad shit.
i dont think about it as much , all of it seems pretty blurry to me now , it happened so long ago but im still accounting for the same feelings being thrown at me all the time.
all i wanted to do was love you unconditionally i just wanted to be there for you , be in your head be the person you came to first and talked to last. . . i wanted to be everything you didnt have be everything you wanted and needed i just wanted to see you smile all the time. was it so hard for you to let me? . . . . and now were strangers even more than before and it hurts me you know it does . i just put so much into people and always end up like this you would think i learn my lesson but i just cant help but loving people. i just get dirt thrown on my name like im some monster i didnt want things to happen the way it did you know that but i wasnt the only person that made it the way did i ?.
i never wanted to hurt you , never wanted none of this to happen and escalate to the way it did
so much has passed. . . and as more time passes im feeling more & more empty again.
and as cliche as it may sound i dont care how bad you might be for me , ill risk it i may talk alot of smack but i would. even though they said im too good for you i never felt that way.
i have everything but what i really need,which is someone who gets me inside and out.
ahhhhhhh.
